Saturday, December 25, 2010

You're going to need a chimney sweep!


Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Oh No! Not Again!

Now we've talked about this subject in another post.  I just couldn't resist coming back to it.
Tell me why someone would pay to have this done?!  Once we get past that dumba$$ery, there are a lot of  other things that I wouldn't trust about the boug-ghetto hooker who wears these petri-dish daggers... ANYTHING that comes from out of their kitchen!

I. Just. Don't. Get. It!


Monday, November 29, 2010

This just about sums it up...


Thursday, November 25, 2010

A Little [More] Thanx-giving Cheer

Dude. Have a reallllly cool Turkey!!!

...see you tomorrow...

Happy Thanx-giving!!!

Dude.  Don't get stuffed!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

You Touched My Sh!gg!ty!!

This Thanksgiving I'm giving airport security something to realllly wrap their hands around

I found these way too cool labels that appear to allow those down-low voyuers, at the airport security check points, a sneak peek into the seedy underbelly of my packed deliciousness!

So. Maybe. If I refuse to go through that  'let me oogle you while I fantasize!' scanner,  the TSA workers will feel prompted to reallllly pat me down! *sarcastic eye roll*

Happy Travels!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Post-It Note Friday!


Just some random sh!gg!ty that's on my mind::

You know you want to play along!  Leave your 'Post-It Note Friday' Rants in the comment section.  I'll use them in a post on the blog with a link back to your blog hangout!
What do you say? 
Do you want to play?

Thursday, November 18, 2010



...give me something to say

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Don't Touch My Sh!gg!ty...

After the 9/11 incident, the U.S. government lost it's mind and became a police state!  Now come on, y'all!  Don't act like you haven't peeped their ish since this most tragic happenin'! 

Let's start with the warrantless sobriety/immigration check highway searches.  Officers serving up routine vehicle and person searches... without reasonable/probable cause and/or consent!   Can you say *loudly* "Puhhhh-lease violate my  Fourth Amendment Rights" !!!! the looks of this SHAT, Arizona has no problem obliging us!

The shoe removal of yesterday has been been partnered with the nonsense of full body scanning, electronic strip searches & sex organ groping!  All of this under the guise of  making the America public feel safe! 

I have but one okay, maybe more, but for now just one thing to say

This smoke-screen approach to solving this bullsh!gg!ty tops the DUMBA$$ERY LIST!!

I don't want to FEEL SAFE!....I want to BE SAFE!!!

              NOW. THAT. BEING. SAID. 
                                                                             *side eye*

In The Real World Where The Rest of Us Live....

...if we publically pawed & undressed an underage child, our azzes would be roped & hog-tied to a prison wall!, mandated to keep our local neighborhood registry updated about our dumba$$ behavior... 
...remember to register on the very public, sex- offender's list! Stay away from your local daycare centers & elementary schools!  And by all means, no passing out candy on Halloween!!!!

...even the most drunken idiot would be beeyotch-slapped into a wall, slammed head-first onto the floor, pistol-whippedd, cuffed & tasered [tzzzzzzzhhhh] into more of a stupor courtesy of  'The Men in Blue' ...if we for some dumba$$ reason decided to grope the likes of our favorite stripper...
...leave your dollars on the floor...anything more 'hand-on' may be construed as a pat down fondling

...creepy guys, like Herbert, used to sit all day in a wheelchair, aimless fondling their jewels as if their nastiness couldn't be peeped  while reminiscing about the horny days of their adolescence... 
NOW...they get a second chance to live out the horny days of their adolescence...[dirty summa ma b*tches!] if the average male doesn't have enough insecurities! 

...the saddest thing about all of this bullsh!gg!ty!?  the terrorist are probably sitting somewhere slapping their knee about this false sense of security resulting from all of this airport security SHAT!

...and the f*ckery will continue!!!...I'm certain!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Angle's all wrong!!!


This is bad.  On soooooo many levels!
*blink* *blink*

What if ....

....the biggest states had the highest populations?

... people's perception of you were different from yours?

...the national debt was never balanced?

... public bathrooms came with instructions?

.... pimping was for playas?

Monday, November 15, 2010

"I just want to say to the Colored Man..."

Late one warm afternoon in October, on arguably, one of television’s most driest programs, a 90-year-old caller delivered an unforgettable jolt to an otherwise lifeless segment.  The topic on hand was Wall Street and its role in American society.   And, without so much as a warning, C-SPAN's 'Washington Journal'  commentator-Robb Harleston-found himself on the end of  one of the most sincerest, politely-controlled old-lady rants delivered on this side of  Moms Mabley

Now, you know that something not so horribly correct was going to come hurling out of the mouth of this golden-ager, the moment that she began her call with:

“I just want to say to the colored man…”

*blink* *blink*  [followed by a] *blank stare*

Suffice it to say that, if you are 'the colored man' that this 90-year-old someone is referencing at the beginning of her loaded call, you would think that all would not be good from this point on. 

As the caller went on to inquire as to why 'the colors' always seem to complain; instead of being grateful for the things that white people had done for them, Harleston-always the consummate professional- remained remarkably uneffected. 

[Here is the video for your lying eyes!]

[...and the script for your lying ears!]

CALLER: I’m 90 years old, and I just wanted to ask the colored man, why don’t colored people instead of saying what we did to them, why don’t they say what we did for them? They talk about the slavery, but since then, they have been given welfare, free medicine, free everything.

HARLESTON: Ma’am I think this is more of a conversation about the relationship between the administration and the people on Wall Street and not necessarily one that’s based on race.

CALLER: Oh, okay. I’m not a racist. That was my comment. Thank you.

The only thing that trumps this pugnacious, opinionated nonagenerian's comment was the tactful nonchalance; in which Harleston seamlessly ended that call.
But not before informing the caller that she was off topic.


Friday, November 12, 2010

Post-It Note Friday!

Okay, so we experienced some unseasonally warm weather this week.  But tell me why it seemed that every salesperson on this green earth found it necessary to push their wares!?
I thought that they were tucked away for the season.....

Wrong! Oh So Very Wrong!

So.  Here is the tongue lashing that I would have rather given them, instead of the polite banter that I dished.

There.  It's off my chest!

You know you want to play along!  Leave your 'Post-It Note Friday' Rants in the comment section.  I'll use them in a post on the blog with a link back to your blog hangout!
What do you say?  Do you want to play?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I'mma Need this one 'splained...


What side of silicon hell makes one want to do this!?



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