How The Eff? .... do They do That!

[Short post today...]

Now, I like to consider myself as well-groomed as the next person....at least, passably {my word}.  I don't give much thought to the man/woman that spends two hours every week some time at the nail salon getting themselves all 'did up'.  I guess your hands and toes should be baby smooth with nails that are clean and symmetrically shaped.  Polish optional. 
WARNING!!  MULTIPLE PICTURES TO FOLLOW...

 [nails via]

NOW. THAT. BEING. SAID. 

         *side eye*

What the eff is going on with these eight foot long, overly acrylicized [my word, again], overly painted, overly ornamentized {my word. yes...again} daggers masquerading as talons being sported by those who equate high fashion with the length of their 'nails-as-weapon' talons? 

                    ~  How do they manage to cook a meal?  They all, most certainly don't pay a chef.   

                    ~  How does the dishes get washed? Or at least rinsed before being put into the dishwasher? 

                    ~ The laundry? -don't tell me - laundry service.  Right. 

                     How about...okay.  So you get it?

......and that's just the simple shiggity! 

[drumroll puhleeeeeeaaaazzzzeee]    Here's the fluhking ten million dollar question!? 

Feel free to throw in any extra cash that you might have lying around.

[I'm going to need another...drumroll puhleeeeeaaaaazzzeee]  .....

What the eff do you do when you have to take a bathroom break !? 

[via]